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Major Political Parties Trade Accusations Over Ida

Hurr IdaIn a rare Sunday press conference, the Prime Minister announced that he was pleased to note another major accomplishment by the UDP government: “we are pleased to report that, owing to quick thinking on the part of NEMO, led by our own Minister Hulse, we were able to convince TD Ida not to come to our shores. While our Tourism Minister insisted that we cannot discriminate against potential visitors to Belize, Minister Hulse along with NEMO, were able to shore up the reefs and outer islands using garbage from Belize City. An emergency Cabinet meeting also generated enough hot air to create a front that prevented the storm from coming any closer.”

In response to a question from an Opposition-sponsored media outlet, the PM angrily denied that Ida had simply opted not to visit Belize because of the high crime. “I tell you this,” he stated angrily, “Minister Perdomo and his team have worked very hard to lower crime statistics, and they hope to soon begin reducing crime too. I will not credit your accusations as anything other than sour grapes for not being able to turn away all the storms that hit Belize during the ten years the PUP ruled this country.

In a subsequent news conference, the Opposition Leader commented that the PM should have recognized that all the previous storms brought foreign exchange to Belize and that therefore he and his Cabinet may have, as usual, acted too hastily in pushing Ida away, though he wasn’t giving them credit for doing so, just saying that if they had been capable of doing so, then they should have thought about it, but of course, they weren’t competent to do it, so it didn’t make sense to give them credit for doing it, so he wasn’t doing that by any means, but if they had…

Several reporters at this point reported feeling inexplicably dizzy and confused.

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