Habanero Press

Belize's Hottest News Source

US Donates Crimefighting Equipment -Crimefighters Still Needed

Weapons that need replacing...

Last week, the United States government, represented locally by H.E. Vinai Thummalapally, donated crime fighting equipment to the Belize Government, in this instance represented by National Security Minister, Hon. Carlos Perdomo.

According to Channel 7 News, “the package include [sic] bullet proof vests, handcuffs, cameras, binoculars, night vision equipment, heavy duty flashlights, metal detectors, metal scanners, video projectors, computers, global positioning receivers and anti contraband equipment.” Upon closer questioning, we discovered that the video projectors were of highest priority to the Belize Police Department because there are times they want to, but cannot, make Powerpoint presentations to alleged criminals while chasing them down the street on foot because their patrol vehicle broke down for lack of parts.

Ambassador Thummalapally also explained that this is just the first stage of funding for the Merida Initiative. This initiative is a US attempt to strengthen law enforcement in the countries surrounding its borders in an effort to fight drug trafficking and reduce the instances in which LA cops get in trouble for beating and/or shooting suspects in front of video cameras.

The ambassador also mentioned that in the coming months Belize would receive vehicles for the Police Department (rumor has it that some will even have fuel); a new communications system for the prison (prisoners weren’t able to plan escapes efficiently using the old one); and an expansion of Belize’s automated fingerprint system. This last one surprised us, and we asked many in-depth technical questions about it, such as:

“You mean, Belize has an automated fingerprint system?”

“How will it be expanded? Will it now handle all ten fingers instead of just one little one?”

“Will it be sensitive enough to detect politicians’ fingerprints on the people’s wallets?”

The National Security spokesman we interviewed responded by shoving his hands in his pockets.

In the spirit of giving the public something to look forward to, Minister Perdomo advised the media that “we are on the road now to see the physical assistance so that maybe three or four years from now when we are better and more fully equipped, our law enforcement can’t say I nuh have this and I nuh have that.”

We have since verified for the purposes of accuracy that the timeline of ‘three or four years’ does take into account stolen weapons and misplaced equipment.


Filed under: Belize, , , ,

One Response

  1. MaskedAvenger says:

    Classic! Love the satire. Seems to trickle off the finger tips..innit.

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