Habanero Press

Belize's Hottest News Source

City Garbage Crisis Over

P Willoughby Philip Willoughby, Councillor in charge of sanitation, has advised the media that the Council now has a solution for the garbage crisis. Willoughby, in a press conference today, told us that he had petitioned the courts to sentence all those accused in the current financial scandal as quickly as they could. In anticipation of a guilty verdict, “because we really need it to go down like this,” he has asked that the sentence be 1,000 hours of community service. The specific service assigned to those involved would be to clean up the city.

“Dwain is really speedy when he gets going, and Zenaida is a machine when it comes to chopping grass. I figure once they find their rhythm, the city should be spic and span in no time. Really, the only reason I asked for 1,000 hours is that the two Kirans might move a little slower.”

Willoughby added that any and all bottles found would be turned in to Bowen and the refund proceeds would go a long way towards repaying the $275,000 in under-deposits. “So really, it’s kinda like killing two birds with one stone.”

It is anticipated that any remaining time on the sentence would be spent painting City Hall to prepare it for the impending sale.

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2 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    Not a bad idea at all. Would love to see Dwain and Zenaida(along with Baby50C in a bagpouch) working the grass. But that woman is wily, and will find a way to make the grass turn into $$$. She’ll assign the two Kirans to find9or network their community) for the bottles ….and with Dwaine’s help, work her under depositing magic again. Oops, Mr. Willoughby, you might just have to supervise this one yourself. HEEEHEEEHEEEE

  2. CityCrab says:

    Now if we can just get the DPP to charge Willo for arrant stupidity and carelessness with the people’s assets and sentence him to 1000 – THEN this might just work.

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